

CRIME "O" THE TIMES: Taste, Tweens & My Journey from Journey
“If you want to know where music is going, ask an 11-year-old.” The above sentence, the closing line in the introductory essay of the NY Times Magazine’s recent music issue, is one of the more over-blown claims in music criticism — a genre with a long history of hype and hysteria — I've read in a while. But hey, give it points: It got my attention. The author, Times Magazine story editor Nitsuh Abebe, seems to suggest that because 2007 had “the highest number of births in Am

SCANDAL! Greatest "Greatest Hits" Albums List Hacked by Cars Fanatic!
The 10 Greatest "Greatest Hits" list compiled and released by The Blog of Rock last week was the victim of a heinous data hack. In a diabolical data corruption plot worthy of Cambridge Analytica or Facebook, a programmer who helped develop the A.I. program used to determine the greatest "Greatest Hits" albums of all time, doctored the data to force The Cars Greatest Hits into the number 9 spot. The hacker, Tomas Pilsner of Prague, hatched his sick plot in an effort to impres

Jared Kushner: HBO Perp Walk Pay Per View Special Proposal
From: Abbe@NortonRoseFulbright.com To: Jared Subject: HBO Pay Per View Special Proposal Jared, I have reviewed the attached proposal. If you were just another well-heeled client — and that is NOT an allusion to those rumors you wear lifts in your shoes to appear taller than Ivanka — I wouldn’t even bother you with this proposal. It is, at first blush, beneath you. But at second blush, since you and your family may still need $1 billion to make a balloon payment on your 666 F

The 10 Greatest "Greatest Hits" Albums of All Time
This kind of list is rarely attempted — with good reason. It requires an encyclopedic body of knowledge, a lot of time to waste, a tremendou


THE “DO YOU NEED TO LAWYER UP?” QUIZ
EVERYONE who’s anyone in New York or D.C. is hiring a personal lawyer — it's all the rage, like a really, really expensive fidget spinner for people with questionable judgment. Donald Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen currently has at least two legal eagles trying to keep him out of prison stripes. And Paul Manafort’s indicted pal Rick Gates had tag teams of lawyers shifting on and off his bench, before he finally copped a plea. If you are wondering whether you might have litigato


Louis Armstrong Museum vs. the David Bowie Exhibit vs. Me
Over the last month I’ve visited two music-related museum exhibitions, the mega-hyped David Bowie“show” at the Brooklyn Museum, and the Louis Armstrong Museum in Corona, Queens, which has been open for decades and has been criminally ignored, at least by me. I really enjoyed the Bowie exhibit, which was a slick, flashy, multimedia affair. But the visit to Satchmo’s space, which is much smaller, quieter, and low-tech, made me happier. Much happier, which was sort of a surprise

What Kind of Air Guitar Do You Play
The new Air Guitar Center at the mall has a fifty-foot wall lined with 200 air guitars, with a placard identifying the name, model and year of each riff machine. There are two air guitar techs—one named Buzz and the other named Wire—who are on hand to discuss anything and everything related to the ersatz axes. The Air Guitar Center has a stage surrounded by mirrors. At the back is just a normal reflection. But on the sides the “rocking glasses,” as Buzz calls them, are funhou


THE DANCE MOVES OF CLARENCE THOMAS: AN ORAL HISTORY
“Acting like he was bending over and picking up a handkerchief off the ground was his signature dance move.” — Retired federal prosecutor Lillian McEwen discussing former beau and Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. NY Post, April 17, 2016 “Signature dance move? Clarence Thomas? You know it was an all-boys Catholic high school, right? Maybe leaning back in his chair? — Dennis McFarland, classmate, St. John Vianney Minor Seminary, Savannah “I remember Clarence in 1970. Tha


OFF THE WALL - The Real Story of Freddy Mercury and Michael Jackson
“They got on well except for the fact that I suddenly got a call from Freddie, saying, ‘Miami, dear… You’ve got to get me out of here. I’m recording with a llama… I’ve had enough and I want to get out.” —Rock band manager Jim ‘Miami’ Beach on the collaboration between Freddie Mercury and Michael Jackson in The Times of London. It wasn’t just the llama, if you know what I mean. I was there at the studio. Me: the serf of sonics, the domestique of decibels, the peon of pop. Mr.