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The King of Pain
A Rick Salter novel

Rick Salter is a man everybody loves to hate. But that’s fine; in fact, it’s become a way of life for Rick ever since the launch of his outrageous – and outrageously successful – reality TV show about torture, The King of Pain. So when one Saturday morning Rick comes to on his living room floor, he’s not really bothered that cultural critics have put him on top of the list of “people who will hasten the demise of civilization” – no, his real problem is that he appears to be trapped under his gigantic home entertainment system. Which is no longer attached to the wall, but to him. With no phone or BlackBerry within reach, and with his housekeeper Marta off for the weekend, Rick has 48 long hours ahead of him before he can hope for rescue. 48 hours of pain and bad memories. Thank god there’s a book lying around to pass the time. It’s called A History of Prisons and the stories in the book seem to be strangely relevant to Rick’s own predicament.

“This is a dark, sharp, very funny novel about imprisonment, torture and the dangerous pleasures of stories." --Zoe Heller, Notes on a Scandal

"Required reading for any reality TV junkie." --N.Y. Daily News

Metaphysical Graffiti will make you think twice (and laugh thrice).” —Will Hermes, author, Love Goes to Buildings on Fire

Nuns with Guns
A Rick Salter novel

Out-of-control producer Rick Salter wants to leave reality TV, get married and make movies. But it’s not easy. When a senseless murder touches his life, Rick enlists his pal Sister Rosemarie to make Nuns with Guns, a TV series about four sisters competing to collect the most firearms. Protests and death threats pile up as the nuns travel the country running gun exchanges. Propelled by the show’s spirited stars and crazy stunts — and the shadow of death that looms over every episode — the series becomes a smash hit. As Rick pushes the envelope, trying to save America from itself, a question emerges: Who will save Rick?

"Rick is a charismatic antihero bolstered by credible side characters, and in the midst of Kaufman’s sardonic humor, there rings out an earnest outcry for gun reform." — Publisher's Weekly

"10 out of 10...Kaufman has done the impossible: he's turned a foul-mouthed, PR-savvy, manipulative, selfish, and occasionally self-righteous reality show producer into a heroic figure. Highly, highly recommended." — Chicago Center for Literature and Photography

"A hilarious, moving of the most relevant, timely novels you’ll read this year."—Downtown Magazine

"The year’s best new reality show concept is actually a book... It's as hilarious as it sounds!"—​

Reverse-engineering obsessions with Big Data, the Internet, movies, coffee shops, pot, spying, rock stars, relationships and sex scandals, Kaufman morphs reality into comedy with 21 short stories and satirical columns. It's a must-read for fans of adventurous humor writing. Notable skirmishes in The War Against Boredom:

  • A husband hires a business consultant to help improve his marriage.

  • An insurance actuary becomes a star by decoding the odds for the Academy Awards.

  •  A caustic National Security Administration advice columnist answers questions and exposes employees.

  • Cheech and Chong reunite over a golden hookah. •

  • A hardcore techie conducts a bizarre old school search for love in “Segway in Overdrive.”​

"Great fun!"—Ben Schott, author of Schott’s Original Miscellany


"Sharp satire with a poetic heart"—The B&N Review


"Seth Kaufman's War Against Boredom is a great antidote to this Kardashianized landscape of selfie-sticks, ISIS attacks, and billionaire presidential wannabes. With lacerating satire, these short stories, riffs, and other insanities will make you laugh. Only our hashtags and Instagram pics can save us now." -- Karl Wolff, The Driftless Area Review


More than a perfect parody of a well-known children's series, If You Give an Architect a Contract is a hilarious and painful cautionary tale about home ownership, renovation, and the uncomfortable dynamics between clients, architects and contractors. In other words, it's the perfect house-warning (and warming) gift. Laura Lee Pedersen's brilliant, slyly detailed illustrations bring Seth Kaufman's traumatic comedy to life. Humor and satire abound from the first page to the inspired back-cover quotes. No home--or architecture office--should be without this book.


“If you give an architect a contract ... he’s going to ask for a set of keys,” Mr. Kaufman’s picture book, which was illustrated by Laura Lee Pedersen, starts innocuously enough. “When you give him the keys, he’ll jiggle them, which will remind him of money, and he’ll probably ask for a deposit.” Before long, the reader is immersed in a nightmare of delays, unforeseen expenses and indifferent contractors.--The New York Times

"As a man who has had renovations done, and has read a lot of children's books, this book somehow assuaged the pain of both."--Joel Stein, Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity

"A great parody of 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie' for anyone who has ever tried to have renovations done on their home!"--Jacqueline Woodson, Locomotion

"Why do you think I built my own damn cabin?"--Henry David Thoreau



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